Thursday, March 5, 2015

WHY WE MUST TO LAUGHT ?

Laughter is a very important component of our life, so important that's been built around an industry. From clowns to stand-up comedians in each period there have been people who have made ​​a profession of making others laugh. Scientists tried to discover what comics they were accessible without much effort, through their talent, what makes people laugh? Some of their comments waiting patiently to be read in the following lines.

1. Researchers concluded that the first laughter appears at age 3 ½ - 4 months, ie long before knowing how to talk. Like crying, laughter is a preverbal form of interaction between child and parent or caregiver's.

2. At the age of 5 and 6 years is observed most exuberant laughter. Spelling or grammar mistakes, small errors of logic or chasing around the house can cause episodes of laughter that the same events will not generate pre-adolescents and adolescents.

3. Childbearing uncertainty, adolescents are more likely to laugh at jokes labeled aggressive or sexual notes or refer to authority figures. Some psychologists consider this type of event as an attempt to gain and maintain control. For example, a teenager who, in the midst of a group of friends, laugh at a joke about abortion can try to mask the secondment, to others or to himself, lack of resolute position regarding this issue.

4. The average adult laughs 17 times a day, or about six minutes a day. Instead, a child laugh 300 to 400 times per day.

5. People laugh when they feel safe, they feel comfortable in the presence of another, when they are open and free to express. Therefore, anthropologist Mahadev Apte highlights the role of social connection that laughter plays in human relationships. He says that laughter is contagious because it appeared in a social bonds tends to solidify that connection.


6. Laughter can be a tool that ensures that individuals are not excluded from a social group. This theory is supported by results of studies showing that individuals with a dominant social position (boss, head of the family, group leader) use more humor than subordinate individuals.

7. Robert Provine said that we use laughter to change the behavior of others. For example, in a situation where we feel uncomfortable or threatened, laughter can serve as a gesture of conciliation or as a way to combat the wrath of the other. If the person to feel threatened us laugh with us, the risk of a confrontation between us and that person decreases.

8. Some scientists believe that laughing caused by tickling is an innate reflex. If this is true, in theory we should be able to tickle yourself. However, we can not, even if we tickle the same place and in the same way that we would cause laughter if we would tickle anyone. Although the information transmitted to the brain is the same in both cases, it seems that tickling does not occur only when the brain is in tension or surprised, states missing when a man tickles one. How the human brain uses this information about tension and surprise is still a mystery to scientists.

9. Contrary psychologists say that laughter is a learned behavior, Steve Wilson, American psychologist

known for promoting laughter therapy, believes that man knows how to laugh since he was born. He brings as an argument the observation that people born blind or deaf laugh and laugh children shortly after birth.


10. Though most of us believe that the ultimate purpose of laughter is to let others know that you think something funny, according to one article in the Quarterly Review of Biology, it is likely that the primary function of laughter is not self-expression. Instead, the purpose of laughter would be to arouse positive feelings in others.


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Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Do not mess with kids !


6 Reasons not to " play '' with children

1. A little girl , Maria , talk to the teacher about whales .
This they explain that it is physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it is a very large mammal has a small neck .
The girl claimed that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Nervous teacher resumed explanation ... it is physically impossible !
Little said:
- When I go to heaven , I will ask Jonah .
- What if Jonah went to hell , the teacher asks curious ?
The answer came promptly :
- Then you ask him .

2. A teacher observes children while drawing , pausing occasionally to see one work .
Coming next to a girl who worked very carefully , asked what draws ...
The girl said :
- I'm drawing God.
The teacher replied :
- But nobody knows what God looks like .
Without stopping a second to gaze intently at drawing , the girl replied :
- They know ... in a few minutes.

3. A Sunday school teacher discussing the Ten Commandments with children five - six years.
Explain what it means to " Honor your father and mother " and then asks :
- Is there a commandment specifically made to teach us how to treat our brothers and sisters ?
Without hesitation , a little boy ( the eldest of the brothers in his family ) said :
- Do not kill .

4. One day, a girl standing near her mom in the kitchen washing dishes .
Suddenly notice the few strands of gray hair , black hair contrasted with the mother.
He stared at his mother and asks :
- Why did hair and white , Mom ?
The mother replies:
- Well, how often teases me and make me cry or just upset , one of my hairs turns white hair .
The girl falls in thought and after a short time , ask
- Mom , how is it that my grandmother has grown white ?

5. Children take pictures in class and the teacher is trying to convince everyone to order a group photo .
- Just think how nice it will be over the years, to say, " Here's Angela , now a lawyer "
or " This is Martin , now a doctor ."
From behind came a thin voice :
- And this is the teacher , she's dead now !

6 . At noon , the children sat patiently queuing Catholic elementary school cafeteria .
The head of the table was a large basket of apples .
A nun had written a note , "Take one apple . LORD is watching the apples ! "
Further along the line , they were chocolate brownies .
A naughty child add a note :

"Take all you want ! Lord is watching APPLES ! "



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URGENT AID POLICE

George PHILLIPS, a man of a certain age who lived in Vancouver, getting ready for bed when his wife told him that he left the lights on in the yard.When George went to the left, saw that thieves stole her yard and garden .
He quickly called the police and asked if the thieves entered the house and attacked him .'' No, he replies , but continue to steal my yard and garden.''

The operator replied :
'' Sorry, but all patrol cars are on the ground. Lock yourself in your house and when we send someone back at headquarters ''

Georges said :
" O.K " and closed . He was a 30 seconds and called the police again :
Good evening , I've just called to tell you the robbers before the court ... " No need to worry and not send anyone to check . I just shot them both '' and closed the phone .

In the next five minutes , six police cars , a team of marksmen , a helicopter , two fire trucks , an ambulance and local police chief were at the scene, managed to catch thieves in the act .
A policeman told him, ' I thought I 've shot ... "


Which Georges replied : "I think you do not have anyone available " ...





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FUNNIEST WIFE S DIARY

Day 1 :
Today we celebrated 25 years of marriage ... and was not too much to celebrate.  When it came time to relive the wedding night he locked in the bathroom and cried.

Day 2:
Today he told me he had to tell me a secret. He said it was impotent and wants me to be the first to know this. Not really told me anything I did not know ! In fact he thinks I have not noticed this yet .

Day 3 :
Marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs . Yesterday I saw a erotic movie and burst into tears .

Day 4:
It happened a miracle ! On the market there is a new drug that will solve the "problem" ... is called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be like the wedding night . I think this will have a positive effect . I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra , hoping to lift something other than his appetite.

Day 5 :
What happiness !

Day 6 :
What beautiful is life ! But it's still difficult to write when we do that thing .

Day 7:
I think that Viagra is up to the head. Yesterday I was at McDonald's and the seller asked me if I want a Big Mac . He thought it was about him. It's still cute . I do not think I was ever happier .

Day 8 :
I think he took too many over the weekend . Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn out carrots from the garden ... using his new "friend." Hurts me a little that place .

Day 9 :
No time to write. He might catch me .

Day 10:
Well , I must admit : I hide it! I mean no woman could furthermore . I think things get worse . He now takes pills with brandy. What should I do ? I feel tacky all over.

Day 11 :
I feel like I'm dizzy . It 's like being with a drill . This morning I woke up stuck to the bed . I miss up and underarms . He 's a pig .

Day 12 :
I wish he was gay . I stopped wearing make-up , let me brush my teeth ... he 's always behind me. Even yawning has become dangerous ...

Day 13 :
Whenever I close my eyes a surprise attack . It 's like sleeping with a cruiser in bed. I can hardly walk and if he tries that on that stuff I will kill him with my bare hands .

Day 14 :
I'd do anything to turn him off . Nothing is working . I started dressing like a nun but only to stop this as it further. Heeeeeeeeeelp ! ...

Day 15 :
I think I'll have to kill him . I get stung every thing I sit . The cat and dog will not go near him. Our friends no longer visit . Last night I told him to fuck himself ... and he did ...

Day 16 :
The bastard has started to complain of headaches. I wish to explode his cock. I think I'll offer him to go back to his painkillers .

Day 17 :                                                  
Ceased to take Viagra but do not take effect . My God ! He comes at me ! ...

Day 18:
Been back on painkillers. Lazy and sit in the chair stuck to the TV with the remote in hand waiting for me to do everything in house .


What bliss ! 






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SEE WHAT IS OUR LIFE ?

On the first day , God created the dog and said : "Every day you sit in the front door and bark at anyone who enters the house or passes in front of them. That 'll give you 20 years of life. "

The dog said, " That's too long to be barking . Why do not you give me just ten years to keep the other ten ? "

And God agreed.

The second day , God created the monkey and said : " Entertain your grimaces people and make them laugh. That 'll give you a lifetime of 20 years. "

The monkey said, "Let me deform 20 years? That's quite a lot ! How about I give you back 10 like the dog did ? "

And God agreed.


On the third day , God created the cow and said, "You go on the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun , have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family . For that I give
60 years of life. "

Vita said, " That's a pretty hard life , and you want me to live 60 years ? Why do I keep 20 and give back 40 ? "

And God accepted this time .


On the fourth day , God created man and said : " Eat, sleep , play, marry and enjoy your life . That 'll give you 20 years. "

But the man said : "Only 20 years? Is it possible to give me the 20 years of my 40 that I take back beef, the 10 the monkey and the dog 10 to have a life of 80 years ? "

"Sure ! " Said God , " you asked for it! "                       


So this is why the first 20 years we eat, sleep , play and have fun. Next 40 years working in the sun like cattle to maintain our families .
Then pretend monkeys for
10 years to enjoy grandchildren .
And the last 10 years he spent on the front porch barking at everyone.


Now your life was explained !



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O.M.G. ! I LOST MY PANTIES !

- Laura ? beautiful young nurse asked , dressed in the most adorable pink gown that I 've ever seen. Good sign, I thought .

I got up and stepped into cabinet oscillating between anxiety and excitement. The doctor smiled warmly behind his desk , looking very polished and sure of himself in the white coat , then I put a few quick questions , his tone soothing , inspiring confidence and professionalism through every pore . Everything went well , my embarrassment left me deeply explored intimacy of a stranger has diminished considerably , perhaps because I kept repeating in my mind : " He saw hundreds of vaginas of all shapes, ages and colors." Anyway, I left there happy with how it went visiting .

After a few days back at the office door . This time without worries or emotions, waiting for me to finish it quickly and go home , because not get to eat anything in the morning and it was already 18 o'clock .

A lot of girls and ladies waiting in the hallway to the same doctor, probably all scheduled around the same time . I waited a long standing supported by the door to the toilet, I had to roll over every time a young pregnant woman felt the need to pee . While listening to snatches of conversations about who he has, where he was and what to do , the doctor and nurse came out of the cabinet, walked hurry some sheets in another room , then went back , gesturing and talking ignited between them . Then the nurse came out again with a confused face and come back with no apparent effect.

After half an hour of standing , hold a chair and sat down .

- Sarah , Klara and Laura , please fill out these forms , said nurse giving us some sheets. Finally I get and I , I said happily , realizing that I pen at me. Name, ID, risks of abortion , hemorrhage , infection ... that's nice , I thought , preventive inform us in case you want to do an abortion. Finally I asked to sign that they agree with abortion . AAAA ... what abortion? When I read the title , I pass all sweating : Request abortion .

Did the doctor and realized that I was pregnant last time and forgot to tell me , then he realized that there are problems and now have to make urgent abortion? However, it should notify me and me before ? I'm heading towards the reception , to which about two young busily complete plug and ask for what I got form.

- To make abortion obviously tells the receptionist . You are not pregnant?
- No , I say bluntly , I want to get pregnant !
- Perhaps it was another Laura who never came and messed assistance between. Nothing , give me the form.

I sat back in her chair , troubled by all this mess awkward , watching the girls who were questioning them to abort and seemed serene and relaxed as if she went to massage . Some can not wait to have children , others do not know how to get rid of them faster. Finally , it is my job to interfere in people's lives .

- Who do I see? asks the doctor removing the head on the door. To you, the call to an elderly lady sitting next to me. Come fast to see .
- I 'm , I mean.
- You see you , he says he passed on. Um ... What? I wonder silently . There was one program and not entered ? He addressed the receptionist .
- Yes, Laura at 18 , but I came.
I get up and head to her irritated .
Laura - I am scheduled at six o'clock and expect to get .
He looked at me astonished both .
- And why are you here? doctor asks me .
- Uh ... for a control. I was Monday and you tell me to come on Thursday .
- For what? he insisted, and after his recall in detail the whole situation , which should remain confidential , in front of other patients and the receptionist , I promise to see me and me immediately .

In a few moments I cried and invites me to another cabinet door that leads into another room . Wanting to unbutton my sandals , I say let them stand , walk faster. I explain to them that I like to take my pants off if I leave the sandals on his feet. He agrees to my shoe off as long as I hurry .

After inspection , I pray to get dressed as quickly as possible , we need to bring the lady. I imagine it's the older woman with white hair sitting next to me on the chair in the waiting room . I take my underwear , but it's nowhere . Looking under pants down , no sign of it.

I do not find my underwear , I mean doctor .
- Andrea, see that you've got underwear Miss , he shouted angry. Come immediately and bring them back . How can you be so confused ?

The pretty nurse enters the room next to my underwear in hand.

- I thought you were the lady says she embarrassed .
Pass from me , I say silently , loud though I doubt that lady would wear thong pink squares . I wanted to dance when I see figure would have to dress .
- Laura , faster , please, stresses the doctor when I bend over to get close to sandals. I do not see that a lady brings ? Please continue outside.

The elderly lady enters the room assisted care arm , and I come crawling back out .

- When you come , I ask undecided .

The doctor said to me hurriedly confidential details over all other girls who listen to dupe . Pay at reception without receiving voucher , then go home , not knowing whether to be amused or deeply annoyed situation . I feel somehow both.


One thing is sure , this was the last time I saw the doctor that pink underwear .





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HOW TO BE A FAITHFUL WIFE ?

Peter was a man who had a clear purpose in life: to raise as much money.
He worked hard all their lives and saved a significant amount of money, that and the fact that all those who knew him said about him that is very cheap.
Betty , his wife, was , in her youth, a very beautiful and flirtatious woman , who wanted to put his life beauty worth using quality clothing and jewelry . But because he was married to a man who had a different purpose in life , and because her education required to be an obedient wife, Betty has never said anything other than her husband, although she was an intelligent woman .
At one point Peter was seriously ill and had to heal a lot of money to spend on those gathered with such toil throughout his entire life . But for the purpose of his life had been reached, thought it better to enjoy as long as have lived , the crowd of money you have deposited in a metal box , kept under the bed of which succeeded in what harder to get up.
Sensing that the moment the "great journey" approach called Betty and said,
         - When I die, I want to put all my money in the casket with me. I want to take money with me eternal life , to enjoy them, and beyond death.
         Knowing that his wife is faithful and obedient prompted her to promise him with all my heart that when he dies , she will put all the money in the casket with him.
          After a few days and quenched .
          Peter was lying in the casket, the wife was sitting next - dressed in black, and her best noun , standing next to it, to support it in times of hard trials and tribulations .
          When the ceremony was over and the gravediggers were preparing to close the casket , the wife said :
           - Wait a moment!
          She had a small metal box with her. She approached the box and put it in the coffin. Then the undertakers locked the casket and they have descended into the pit .
          Her friend , stunned by what she saw , knowing the desire Betty 's husband , said very annoyed :
          - My dear friend , I know you're not crazy enough to put all that money in there with your husband.
           Betty , the loyal wife replied :                                            
           - Listen , honey , I'm Christian , I swore in front of the deity . I can not withdraw my word . I promised that no one else will be able to spend his money.
           - You mean you put all that money in his coffin ? ! ?
           - Of course , 'said Betty. I squeezed all , I put in my account and I wrote him a check ... If he can cash it , then he can spend ....

   Yes ! As I said , Betty was not a stupid woman at all!





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